Friday, March 2, 2012

Deep Down

I have been befuddled, I have been comforted, I have been happy and latly I have been sad, in fact disappointed.
All the feelings were brought about by "me".
Recently I haven't been in touch with myself, my thoughts, my inner voice. Noises, noises, noises. that was all i could hear. till i got depressed and asked myself the good old question : "Who am I?"
This was hard to swallow, I thought of myself as a person in his early twnties, well satisfied with his low self-esteem who aspires to find courage within himself to say the truth and try to change what he sees as wrong. However, in a "word association" game I had with my friends two nights ago I was shocked by the darkness I hold.
I know so little of myself. I convicted close people of being inconsiderate of my feelings and forgot to put into account what goes around in their world.
I find myself bewildered: what to do? In order to be in peace with the others i need to be in peace with myself but the deeper i get the darker it gets, I'm afraid I might not like what I find.